


U R A Q T

by Lolistar92



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Crack Treated Seriously, Feel-good, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Hyung Kink, Innocent Kim Jongdae | Chen, Interviews, M/M, OT5, Romantic Comedy, The preslash for a fivesome porno in any other context, poor oblivious jongdae, rated t to be safe because anyone that can read between the lines knows what sebaek did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolistar92/pseuds/Lolistar92
Summary: “Hyung! Listen to him! Even his voice sounds nice! We have to hire him! I demand it!” Baekhyun whines, practically crawling into Minseok’s lap.“He’s cute, I want him in my pocket,” Sehun agrees, nodding. He’s already leaning over, head on Junmyeon’s shoulder.Jongdae doesn’t know what is going on. He hasn’t even sat down yet.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Oh Sehun
Comments: 24
Kudos: 147





	U R A Q T

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HunnieDae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunnieDae/gifts).



> This was written for my online beau HunnieDae early this year! She encouraged me to post it up ages ago but I kept hesitating because she and I have our own unique brand of humour. Crack isn't my forte, but I hope you enjoy the attempt :'D

“You’re hired!”

Jongdae fumbles, barely avoiding dropping his portfolio. There were a lot of things he had prepared for when opening the door, but this wasn’t even in the top 10000. 

The man that enthusiastically said those words, across the table from where the hot seat for his interview is placed, is unfairly cute.

“Baekhyun! You can’t just say that!” 

Jongdae’s eyes swivel to the man in the middle, but even the tired hand he places over his eyes don’t take away from his handsome profile. Jongdae knows this man, the face of X.O. Kim Junmyeon. 

“But look at how cute he is!” Baekhyun whines. Jongdae has to swallow past the burst of warmth that pools in his gut at that compliment. 

He doesn’t think he looks cute. In his nervousness for this interview he hadn’t watched his barber close enough and now he has barcode bangs. Last night he’d thrown his interview suit into the wash but forgot to take out the red pocket square from when he used the suit as a wedding outfit, subsequently ruining it. He had to borrow Jongin’s suit, hastily pinned but still comically large on his small frame. 

Jongdae had been so sure his appearance alone was going to get him booted from the door. 

He shuffles his feet, trying to subtly shake off his sweater paw from where the cuffs of the blazer droop. He needs to be prepared in case they want to shake hands!

“He’s got a point,” comes the lazy drawl from a man that had to be sculpted by the gods. Jongdae recognizes him too, the model for X.O.’s brand Oh Sehun. Despite the lazy tone, the man sits up impossible straight showing off his broad shoulders tapered into a slim waist only highlighted by a beautiful shirt Jongdae is positive he could never pull off. 

“ _He_ is standing right there,” says the last man behind the table. God, was being gorgeous a job requirement here? They were almost too fucking bright to look at and Jongdae has Jongin and Chanyeol as his best friends, not mention their respective boyfriends Kyungsoo and Yixing. 

“Right, thanks for bringing us back on track Minseok hyung!” Junmyeon says, shooting Sehun and Baekhyun a glare before turning to Jongdae. “Welcome! Thank you for rearranging your schedule for us on such short notice.”

Jongdae smiles wide, the kind he gives people when he’s nervous but excited, showing off his straight white teeth and kitten curl. He’s completely caught off guard when Baekhyun suddenly leans forward, eyes intense as he stares Jongdae down. Even Minseok does an obvious double take and it has Jongdae fidgeting, resisting the urge to cover his mouth. 

To cover up the awkwardness he bows. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Kim Jongdae, applying for the position of PR Director.”

“Hyung! Listen to him! Even his voice sounds nice! We have to hire him! I demand it!” Baekhyun whines, practically crawling into Minseok’s lap.

“He’s cute, I want him in my pocket,” Sehun says, nodding. He’s already leaning over, head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. 

Jongdae doesn’t know what is going on. He hasn’t even sat down yet. 

Junmyeon looks like he is trying to find his inner buddha. “Please don’t make him call HR.”

“Err, I don’t mind,” Jongdae murmurs shyly, blush intensifying when four pairs of eyes hone in on him. 

“See,” Baekhyun crows, “I can vibe with the praise kink he’s giving off.”

“Byun Baekhyun,” Minseok warns, pinching Baekhyun’s side. The loud man jumps springing out of his seat to walk over and sit on Sehun’s lap. 

Sehun doesn’t even flinch, winds his arm around Baekhyun. Junmyeon has his head in his hands again. 

“Jongdae,” Minseok says, voice smooth and confident as if his coworkers aren’t losing all shreds of professionalism currently, “why don’t you take a seat.”

Jongdae nods, setting his bag down. To his embarrassment, he trips over the long pant leg and his portfolio flies out of his hands and drops the few inches to the floor, scattering his CV everywhere. 

“Oh!” Jongdae whimpers, distressed and unable to help the small, cute exclamation. He hurriedly bends over, hardly noticing Jongin’s blazer pooling over his waist and exposing his ass to the room. 

Jongdae whirls around, a terrified tremor to his hands as he shakily offers apologies, only to find the faces of four men staring right at him. 

“Is something wrong?” Jongdae asks, worried. Was that the final straw? Are they going to ask him to leave?

Baekhyun is the first to break out of his stupor. “I think you missed a page!’

Jongdae turns around, seeing nothing. 

“Under the coffee table,” Sehun helpfully says. “You might need to get on your knees.”

There is a strangled sound behind Jongdae, maybe one of them caught a cold?

Jongdae gets on his hands and knees, putting embarrassment to the side to get the last paper. He doesn’t see it at first, drops his head down lower and spreads his legs so he can get a better view. 

“Oh god-”

Jongdae turns around, seeing Junmyeon with a hand over his face. Baekhyun is staring at him but Sehun has his face buried in Baekhyun’s neck. Is he laughing? He seems to be shaking the smaller man on his lap back and forth. 

It’s Minseok, again, that catches Jongdae’s attention. “Baekhyun must have been seeing things. I hope that doesn’t influence your opinion on us. Our Creative Director is many things,” Minseok drawls, eyes strangely intense, “but he is best at _ass_ essing our new hires.”

Jongdae waves his hand in front of his face. “I should be the one apologizing for making such a spectacle of myself,” Jongdae says, sincerely. He drops his hands together, shirt sleeves pooling over his fingertips as he bows in apology. 

“Pocket,” he hears, and it causes him to straighten up, a confused pout on his lip. 

Sehun really must be laughing hard, his chair is shaking now with the force of his movement. Baekhyun seems to be squirming too, maybe the way Sehun is breathing into his neck? 

“Please find my resume here,” Jongdae offers, coming up to the desk and handing out the papers. He puts on his best smile, the one that Jongin and Chanyeol tell him will get him anything he wants. 

Junmyeon misses the paper. Jongdae’s pulse flutters at the open-eyed way the CEO is looking at him. Was there something on his face? Does he have spinach between his teeth or something?

“Tell us a bit about yourself, Jongdae,” Minseok says, when Jongdae finally sits down. Jongdae freezes, feeling the tightness in his shirt all of a sudden. Had he put on weight? Did his shirt shrink? He can’t think much about it, just hopes no one notices. Desperately, he focuses on Minseok’s question 

Jongdae finds himself once again meeting the man’s eyes. Despite his youthful features, the confident way he interjects and commands attention makes Jongdae think he might be older than the rest. 

“I’m not that interesting,” Jongdae says humbly, fingers catching in his shirt over his stomach, “but I can answer any questions you might have, Minseok-shii?”

“Call me ‘hyung’,” Minseok dismisses, a gummy smile on his face. Jongdae feels his cheeks heat further under the wave of that smouldering look. Wow, Minseok is really pretty. 

“Minseok hyung,” Jongdae repeats dutifully. 

“Me too!” Junmyeon interjects, smiling so his eyes scrunch in an endearing way. “I’m your hyung too!”  
  


Jongdae’s so overjoyed with how friendly and welcoming they’re being. “Junmyeon hyung!” Jongdae chirps, smiling again only to freeze when he feels one of the buttons on his shirt give way. 

Oh no! 

The stray button catches on the cuff links of his right sleeve and when Jongdae yanks his hand to try and fix the button, three more rip open. To his horror his skin flashes as his shirt flutters. 

“Oh fu-”

Jongdae’s wide eyed stare helplessly goes to Baekhyun who stills face red and panting as he grinds down on Sehun - maybe to get away from Jongdae? 

“Bathroom!” Sehun suddenly shouts. He grabs Baekhyun and hurriedly shuffles him out of the room while Jongdae frantically undoes the catch on his cuff sleeve and buttons Jongin’s blazer, trying not to let mortification over take him. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jongdae says, miserably. Why is everything going wrong today?

But to his surprise there are small hands grabbing the lapels of his blazer. Jongdae’s head snaps up, gawking as Minseok carefully tucks the blazer and shirt into order, using the blazer’s buttons as a cover up. A whole patch of skin is visible but there isn’t much Jongdae can do. 

“There,” Minseok purrs, fingertip ghosting lightly over skin for a brief second. Jongdae shudders, nipple traitorously perking. He can’t help it, he's sensitive! “Hyung will take care of you, Jongdae.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Jongdae responds, grateful for the kind look in Minseok’s eyes. 

“It’s what an older figure is supposed to do,” a voice chimes in and Jongdae turns his head around to see Junmyeon behind him. He gasps when two hands land on his waist. “We should get you a new suit, Jongdae. You’re very becoming in this style but I’d like to see you in something more form fitting.”

Jongdae’s heart flutters at the concern in Junmyeon’s voice. He’s so kind, whispering the words in Jongdae’s ear so others won’t over hear and he won’t be embarrassed. 

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae repeats, miserable, “I can’t afford something on the scale you’d expect at this company.”

Junmyeon tsks, “That’s what hyung is for. Come, let’s go get you something right now. You want to be wearing your best for the interview, yes?”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly!” Jongdae protests, aghast at the thought of his potential boss wasting money on Jongdae like that. “I’ve made a right mess of myself, I’ll just go-”

“With us,” Minseok interjects smoothly, picking up Jongdae’s hand. “Come now, when hyung says to listen, what do you do, Jongdae-ya?”

Jongdae whimpers, pulse jumping under Minseok’s cool hands. “I’ll listen,” he promises. 

“Good,” Junmyeon says, smiling brilliantly, and he’s just so pretty! Minseok is also smiling, tugging Jongdae along to the front door. 

“But-but that interview?” Jongdae asks, head over his shoulder to see Baekhyun and Sehun stumbling out of the private bathroom. 

“He’s hired, right?” Baekhyun calls to them. “Wait, come back! Jongdae I’m your hyung too, let’s go get some - fuck, Sehun!”

“Yes,” Sehun drawls, something in his voice that makes Jongdae shudder in warning at how predatory the young man looks. “That sounds like a plan.”

And that’s the story of how Jongdae accidentally acquired four sugar daddies, 2.5 hyungs, and a lot of dick. 

{end.}

  
  



End file.
